Wednesday, April 25, 2012

I've Got Big Balls.

Wowser...I haven't blogged since Feb of 2011? I apologize my faithful stalkers and creepers...I am going to try and do better! I don't have anything specific to rant about today...just some curious thoughts that have been rolling around in my head, and trying to leap from my lips--but will settle for my fingertips.

I know I have been guilty time and time again of poor body image... after all I am a female. Duh. I try to keep my insecurities from pouring over onto my very impressionable young daughter. Sophie is the EXACT opposite of me..in fact she is everything I wanted to be when I was her age. She is long legged, clear skin, blue eyed, thin, and well..let's face it--she's nicer then I have ever been in my life. I often just watch her skip around the house in a fuzzy, pink, happy cloud of happiness. She is a pixie. I was not like that. I was short, chubby, freckled, and didnt like my life. I told her this once--trying to explain to her to never feel less then awesome--to strive not for perfection, but for peace.  She found it hilarious that I was opposite of her when I was her age. She said all she ever hears is "you look so much like your mother". That made me think of how warped our body image and what we actually see as women.

A woman will be married to a man for 20+ years and that man can probably count on one hand how many times he has seen his wife naked, up right, and in broad daylight. The man has seen her give birth, have the flu and if he is lucky enough--get a couple cocktails in her and do freaky stuff...yet...she will not allow her body to be seen by him, unless under certain circumstances.  It is no wonder men all think we look better on our backs--its all they ever see! Now here is where I crack up...a man however---will parade around completely naked, in the day light--and if you let him--in front of the window that is across the street from the church -_-. They will helicopter, wiggle and strut like we are lucky to have seen such a physique! WHERE IN THE HELL DID THEY GET THAT KIND OF CONFIDENCE??? Do you realize if we had half of that swagger and gumption -- we wouldn't have needed those "feminist rights".  I personally have to look away when it has happened to me...I am a worrier by nature--and when that thing is parading around--all I can think about is "How do they sit down?"..."Don't let the cat see it"..."They really need to make bras for the back-up dancers".  I cant imagine a time where I waltz nude, in the middle of the day, in front of a male and give him that smile that says "Yep...allllllll this is yours, now watch--I'm going to do jumping jacks and laugh while my parts jiggle."

Women need to really start thinking like a man when it comes to this topic...we need to act like we have balls.  There I said it. THAT has to be where the confidence comes from? So from now on my female friends when you are down and out, hate the image in the mirror, or you God forbid arent a Size 0 like in the magazines...get your balls out. Lord knows we have been carrying enough around of them in our purses, we might as well put them to use.

For my male readers...you keep doing your thing...we arent hatin' on ya...I wish I could be so entertained by my own body. Yes...yes I know...you guys ARE entertained by OUR bodies.  Geesh....(see ladies, no matter what--no matter the size--shape--color--or whatever your mental hang ups are--your man will ALWAYS think your body is Disneyland ;-)

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