Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Sometimes you Copy & Paste in real life

I have always been lucky enough to make friends easily...and even to keep them...I am usually the responsible one of the crowd--and have a tendency to become a "Mom" to everyone-young and old.  What can I say? I like my peeps dented and damaged...I may be able to fix them, ya never know.

There have been times where I feel like I have been replaced, that someone has stole my shine...and my friends don't need me as much...I feel like I have been Copy & Pasted right over. I think for girls/women this is a pretty common feeling...women are catty by nature-and very territorial.  Men may laugh at the territorial part--but good luck trying to get a pair of jeans from a chick that looks good in them, she will cut a bitch before she will loan them out.

This phenom doesn't just happen on playgrounds, slumber parties, or lunch tables....it happens at jobs, parties...and marriages.  I am currently going through a divorce and discovered a line had been drawn in the proverbial sand...there is a HIS and HER side now.  I hate this...hate it with everything I am.  I don't want to give up "my" friends to him...I don't like biting my tongue out of fear my secrets will be repeated by a friend that is now Switzerland in the proceedings.  I hate the friends who have had no interest in my ex, suddenly--cant live without hearing his voice...and don't call ME for months.

So how do you divvy up friends?  Is it like furniture..."well my Mom got this for me in high school"..."I bought this on vacation with MY money"...which friends are grandfathered in? How is custody decided?  He promises to give me one weekend a month where I wont run into him at one of their homes?

The only thing that makes this easier is the fact that in this process...I have made new friends...who don't care who I was married to, don't care to ever meet him, don't care that he may have won the popularity contest...

As for the friends that have made a decision to be on one side or the other....how sad...because quite frankly, the spouse and I are not on either side...we get along better then we have in the last 3 yrs...maybe because everyone has ran out of things to say about each of us...I don't know... Maybe because this was never "our war"-it was everyone else that had an opinion about our marriage...you know...friends and family that TELL you things you SHOULD know-whether its the truth or not.

I guess at the end.... I will take my side, defend it with everything I am...try to recruit...with promises of loyalty, laughs, and good will...and if all else fails...I have cookies on my side.

Thank you to the friends who never drew that line in the sand...who remained loyal from day one-to either myself or him....its not about how many, or even who...its about who genuinely wants the best for BOTH of us...and to the Benedict Arnolds I know...you shall miss me, and I am better off without ya...and PS...my cookies are friggin awesome..na-na-nana-na

Monday, November 15, 2010

So I wanna....

So I wanna hand out awards sometimes to people who have the most drama in their world...you know, the ones that are always in a feud, or have health issues, or money problems even though they are down at the bar every weekend? Thankfully, for all of us--their issues can be aired out in so many ways...we have Facebook, which is high school for adults...we have Twitter--which thankfully only gives us a BRIEF rundown on their issues....and MySpace...wait...what is MySpace again?

However...aren't we guilty of something as well? We are all watching and waiting with eagerness to see what that train wreck will post next? We subscribe so we don't dare miss one thing? Is it worst to be a voyeur into someones world--or an active participant in their issues?

I have become addicted to Facebook myself...I creep on people that I would normally have no interest in...I creep on people I will never meet in real life...just a morbid curiosity about what they did this weekend, did they go to the doctor like they were bitching about?...So I creep...and I creep...and I find my head filled with useless knowledge about 400+ people...I think Facebook is the average persons dirty little addiction. Its a popularity contest won by "likes" and comments...it is a narcissist dream world.


So by all means...keep updating...tell me why your boyfriend is a jerk...and then 23 minutes later post ILY...keep giving me graphic details about the birth of your 8th child, it was just as exciting 7 kids ago....and most of all...keep posting your complaints with your life, I need them like air...I am guilty of being fascinated by dysfunction...so please..keep updating...I need you to post...and you need me to creep.

P.S....thanks for creeping on me just now. :)

Monday, October 4, 2010

How, Come, For , Why?

I spent a good part of the night analyzing a conversation I had with someone this weekend...I hate when later you realize they were "saying something TO you"...not just flapping their gums. But actually, trying to make a point--and it doesn't hit your dumb ass until about 3AM.

So I laid in bed and thought of all the witty things I would have said--if I had been paying attention. All the hilarious comebacks, all the great advice I would have given...sadly, I'm pretty sure my friend was carrying on about "never getting any attention". I feel pretty bad now...

How come we ignore the loudest cries for attention...Do we have something in our brain that says "ignore this-or you will be hating life for about a month". Does it fall on the person who is always being "ignored" to maybe speak louder, be more entertaining, or learn to hold an audience attention.  I remember taking Speech class in high school and always vomiting right before I had to make a speech-now you would need a roll of duct tape and a taser to shut my ass up.

I sent a text to my friend at 3AM...I told her "hey-I kinda just now noticed you were looking at me to guide you thru something."....her response?...."Hell no, your more of a trainwreck then me-I just wanted to vent".

I now know why I ignored her cry for attention---I'm blessed enough to have always been a non-bullshitter...my friends know whether it is during the conversation, or at 3AM...they can say "Charisma...focus and pay attention to me-I need you". Or...they can reply to a random text at 3AM...which leads me to then wondering what the hell is wrong with me....

I fell asleep at 4:30AM this morning, after going thru my issues one by one........my friend is fine, she actually text me just an hour ago-and said "thanks for checking on me at 3AM, your a good friend"....too bad I'm not speaking to her for calling me a trainwreck, she said something else on the text about needing a drink--I don't know...I wasn't paying attention.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Welcome Voyuers!

The title of my Blog is pretty self explanatory--I will sometimes Rant, and I will sometimes just Roll with it. I have a tendency to do both at any given time.

I am hoping to shed some light on various topics...with a twist of humor, and of course deviant commentary. I don't always have anything useful to say-and will probably rely on some one hit wonders to begin with, but I hope you keep reading-I could say something astonishing at any moment, I can feel it :)

Please visit often, and all comments are welcomed...unless of course you are being an ass...and well, I will most likely laugh--OR you could become an instant star in my next rant...Hmmmmm