Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Sometimes you Copy & Paste in real life

I have always been lucky enough to make friends easily...and even to keep them...I am usually the responsible one of the crowd--and have a tendency to become a "Mom" to everyone-young and old.  What can I say? I like my peeps dented and damaged...I may be able to fix them, ya never know.

There have been times where I feel like I have been replaced, that someone has stole my shine...and my friends don't need me as much...I feel like I have been Copy & Pasted right over. I think for girls/women this is a pretty common feeling...women are catty by nature-and very territorial.  Men may laugh at the territorial part--but good luck trying to get a pair of jeans from a chick that looks good in them, she will cut a bitch before she will loan them out.

This phenom doesn't just happen on playgrounds, slumber parties, or lunch happens at jobs, parties...and marriages.  I am currently going through a divorce and discovered a line had been drawn in the proverbial sand...there is a HIS and HER side now.  I hate this...hate it with everything I am.  I don't want to give up "my" friends to him...I don't like biting my tongue out of fear my secrets will be repeated by a friend that is now Switzerland in the proceedings.  I hate the friends who have had no interest in my ex, suddenly--cant live without hearing his voice...and don't call ME for months.

So how do you divvy up friends?  Is it like furniture..."well my Mom got this for me in high school"..."I bought this on vacation with MY money"...which friends are grandfathered in? How is custody decided?  He promises to give me one weekend a month where I wont run into him at one of their homes?

The only thing that makes this easier is the fact that in this process...I have made new friends...who don't care who I was married to, don't care to ever meet him, don't care that he may have won the popularity contest...

As for the friends that have made a decision to be on one side or the sad...because quite frankly, the spouse and I are not on either side...we get along better then we have in the last 3 yrs...maybe because everyone has ran out of things to say about each of us...I don't know... Maybe because this was never "our war"-it was everyone else that had an opinion about our know...friends and family that TELL you things you SHOULD know-whether its the truth or not.

I guess at the end.... I will take my side, defend it with everything I am...try to recruit...with promises of loyalty, laughs, and good will...and if all else fails...I have cookies on my side.

Thank you to the friends who never drew that line in the sand...who remained loyal from day one-to either myself or him....its not about how many, or even who...its about who genuinely wants the best for BOTH of us...and to the Benedict Arnolds I shall miss me, and I am better off without ya...and cookies are friggin